[ he at least notices she still has his stuff, so there's that. but he keeps his arms folded loosely over his chest while watching the water flow downstream. ]
... I'm gonna be the last person to force you in there. It's the only thing we have right now to really heal us, but it's your choice.
The good thing is we know it'll heal, even if it takes some time. [ time that they might not have, but that's a whole other conversation. ] Maybe no exploring for a few days, too, to give it a rest.
[ ... he does look her over though to make sure this is actually true and that she's not just saying this to endure and avoid the river itself. ]
[ She's not that stubborn. She's got some pretty heavy bruising beneath her clothes, but that too will heal with rest. Outwardly, she's holding herself up well enough, if tiredly.
If she passed out somewhere, it didn't seem to be for very long. ]
[ She tilts her head a little at that, one eyebrow slowly raising. Something he can try? That could be anything from painkillers to vodka to some other cursed item-- ]
[ there's a nod because yeah. yeah? he seems a little more at ease than he has the last few days and a little less loud and all over the place, so that probably helps. ]
Thanks. I'm glad it did, too. [ mmm... ] Earlier today, I think. It just felt like it reconnected. I still don't think there's really a way to tell what the river might take though. Pretty sure Elysium lost memories of a whole person instead of something else. And I don't know about Reirin or Siffrin.
Pretty sure, yeah. The only reason I even noticed is because we were talking and he was describing someone that I'm pretty sure I knew he shouldn't have forgotten. But he said he couldn't remember that they were important to him, or why. I haven't asked if he remembers now, but based on earlier today I think it cleared up.
So we know it can take something for healing. Just not when it'll come back. But... at least we now know it will?
[ he remains quiet to let this sink in. having seen her sekai, knowing a little about how things are for her and how her feelings manifest themselves, he's not too surprised this is the case.
when you don't have much that's yours to begin with, losing even a part of it is something there's no coming back from. it's something he understands well enough himself, given he's someone who constantly had to worry about losing other people and losing himself along the way.
(he has some questions about the sense of taste thing because that feels weirdly out of place, but that's not important right now.) ]
I get it. [ first and foremost. he doesn't bother verbally relating it to himself because this isn't about him, but he's definitely thinking about it. ] It's like... even if it's a small piece, it's still a piece of who you are and it throws the whole balance off. You aren't yourself anymore, and everything you've worked so hard for falls apart. Temporary or not, it's not a great feeling. Especially since you're never going to forget how it felt in the first place.
[ She says this softly. She's been fighting for this as desperately as she could, even if no one really knows what that desperation looks like for Mafuyu.
She shudders now, legs drawing closer to her chest. ]
I've gotten this far and I still have... a really long way to go. Even though Miku says I've changed.
I don't want to go back... to missing a part of me. Another part. Any part.
[ to his credit, he does not have a visible or much of an emotional reaction to her mentioning miku. meeting tsukasa's first really is doing a lot of the work here.
but that... kind of hurts to hear, because he'd suspected as much and it's way too easy to fill in the gaps. where do you go when you can't figure out the right path? what do you do when the things you fight for to keep for yourself are ripped right out of your hands? you keep fighting, sure, but what happens when the fight is too hard to keep fighting on your own?
he watches her from the corner of his eye, but he does scoot a tiny bit closer even while he stares at the river instead to mull over an answer. ]
... this might not mean much coming from me, because we just met. But I think the fact that you have come this far is something you need to be proud of. It's a sign that you've changed. I think it's that trying to find yourself is one of those things that can be really hard when you don't know what that always looks like. I know I've come pretty far since last year, too, but... I still don't really know where I'm going. There's still a lot left for me to figure out.
But going backwards isn't an option. You worked hard to find those parts and earn them. They're yours to keep, and nobody should get to take those away. Especially not some dumb river. [ ... ] It's scary to think about losing those parts, because sometimes it makes you think about if they were ever really yours at all. But they are. No matter what.
It's... so true. She can't. She can't go back anymore. She's slowly taking steps towards what she wants, even if she doesn't fully understand where that will lead her. And in the end... she'll have to meet her mother again. She'll have to reaffirm her stance again.
Both Yosuke and Tsukasa think she's come so far, even if it doesn't feel like it. ]
I don't want to let the river take anything. Not if I don't have to.
[ it's always easier for other people to see your progress. but isn't that the point of having other people to support you? they're the ones who will remind you of the work you've put in already and what you're fighting for.
for mafuyu, even if he doesn't know everything about her, the things she's seen in memories and the things she's said are enough he can read the lines and paint a familiar picture. when you're desperate to change and have something for your own, you cling with all you have even if sometimes you tire yourself out. ]
I'm glad you weren't hurt more than you already were. [ first of all. ] I wish we had more bandages and stuff, but we're going to make it work. Don't worry.
[ medea had asked him if he would have dunked himself in the river if he knew it'd take something from him, and he had said no. if he'd know it'd take his persona, of course he'd refuse. he understands the idea now, a sacrifice for a restoration, but there are too many things he's fought too hard for to be taken out of his control. he figures mafuyu feels the same.
he wants to ask her about what happened on her adventure, how things went, but he's also fine letting the conversation flow however is comfortable for her. he's learned enough how to work with people who are quieter. when they ask questions, you answer them. ]
As for last year... lonely? [ a little wry, but he thinks that's a good summation. ] But it was so much easier to pretend I wasn't and lie to people about how I felt to try and keep them around. [ he thinks about stopping there, but then he thinks maybe this will help clarify why he says some of the things he says. ] I felt like I was suffocating, wasting away in a tiny town I never wanted to move to. I didn't want Inaba, and Inaba didn't want us. But I didn't want to cause more trouble for my family by speaking up against the things people said, so I tried to act like everything was fine and I had nothing to worry about.
[ There are things she can't relate to and things she can. Mafuyu hasn't moved. She's never lived in a tiny town, though she imagines if she'd moved to one, it might be simpler. She hasn't had to face... resentment? It sounds like resentment. But to keep up a certain facade, to avoid causing trouble for her family? Acting like everything was fine?
She can understand that all too well. She wonders if that's why he's seemed so concerned about her, because he recognizes aspects of what he's lived in her. ]
But you're not lonely anymore... and you're more honest? I don't feel like you've been lying to me, anyway.
[ Unlike Mafuyu, who started off being pleasant and amicable with everyone at the very beginning, desperate for a sense of stability and refusing to reveal her true, fractured nature. ]
[ it's a little too easy to imagine what her shadow might say to her, yeah.
there's a soft laugh under his breath when she says that though, not quite self-deprecating but not quite accepting either. ]
I don't have a reason to lie to you. [ try to impress her and other people, sure, but not really outright lie. he also doesn't address the lonely thing because that's a whole other issue. ] But I'm trying to be. More honest, I mean. I made a promise to myself that I'd try to keep living and stop running away. But even wanting to do that, it doesn't always mean it's easy.
[ She says nothing to point it out, but she does silently note that he'd skipped right over that loneliness. Well, he had said he missed his friends. Maybe it went beyond just here. ]
... It's not easy. And sometimes, you do have to run away. So it's even harder to determine what the right course of action should be.
[ Mafuyu is quiet for a few more minutes after that, and then finally, her shoulders slump a bit. ]
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depressured) wrote2025-11-03 09:04 pm
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Speak your truth, Yosuke. Mafuyu does not always initiate conversations. ]
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... I'm gonna be the last person to force you in there. It's the only thing we have right now to really heal us, but it's your choice.
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[ it's probably the most decisive she's sounded, aside from how sharply she'd refused when Medea had threatened to throw her in the river. ]
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... okay. Then we're not sending you in. How's your shoulder? [ because if it's still bad it means they have to think of a workaround.
he'll come back to why she was so decisive about that in a second. ]
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[ Some stiffness. Some pain on contact. But doable. ]
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[ ... he does look her over though to make sure this is actually true and that she's not just saying this to endure and avoid the river itself. ]
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If she passed out somewhere, it didn't seem to be for very long. ]
I won't venture very far, then.
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Good. If things follow the same pattern, we're probably going deeper into the maze soon anyway. So who knows what's out there?
[ he pauses though and seems to be debating. ]
I don't know how much it'll help, but if it gets too bad I think I have something that can try to make things a little more comfortable.
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That's very vague, Hanamura-san.
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It's... not as effective as usual, but it's still gonna look weird if you're not used to it. Uh. Call it a power? [ . . . ] It finally came back.
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[ She blinks, and yes, he did just call it a power and said it was gonna look weird, but before that, her eyes soften slightly. ]
I'm glad it came back to you.
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Thanks. I'm glad it did, too. [ mmm... ] Earlier today, I think. It just felt like it reconnected. I still don't think there's really a way to tell what the river might take though. Pretty sure Elysium lost memories of a whole person instead of something else. And I don't know about Reirin or Siffrin.
[ since siffrin? isn't healed? i think. ]
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[ Good to have it confirmed, she guesses. Even though finding out like that... ]
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So we know it can take something for healing. Just not when it'll come back. But... at least we now know it will?
[ a pause. ]
But you still don't have to go in.
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[ Steadily. Still very firmly. ]
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... did something happen while you were gone to make you so sure of this?
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[ Because...
Her gaze sinks further down. There's just a sense of... emptiness. Fear. ]
I've lost things before. My synthesizer. My sense of taste. My true feelings. The relationship with my mother. Access to my SEKAI, temporarily.
It doesn't matter, fleeting or not. I don't... want to lose anything or anyone else. That scares me more than anything.
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when you don't have much that's yours to begin with, losing even a part of it is something there's no coming back from. it's something he understands well enough himself, given he's someone who constantly had to worry about losing other people and losing himself along the way.
(he has some questions about the sense of taste thing because that feels weirdly out of place, but that's not important right now.) ]
I get it. [ first and foremost. he doesn't bother verbally relating it to himself because this isn't about him, but he's definitely thinking about it. ] It's like... even if it's a small piece, it's still a piece of who you are and it throws the whole balance off. You aren't yourself anymore, and everything you've worked so hard for falls apart. Temporary or not, it's not a great feeling. Especially since you're never going to forget how it felt in the first place.
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[ She says this softly. She's been fighting for this as desperately as she could, even if no one really knows what that desperation looks like for Mafuyu.
She shudders now, legs drawing closer to her chest. ]
I've gotten this far and I still have... a really long way to go. Even though Miku says I've changed.
I don't want to go back... to missing a part of me. Another part. Any part.
[ Yosuke gets it. ]
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but that... kind of hurts to hear, because he'd suspected as much and it's way too easy to fill in the gaps. where do you go when you can't figure out the right path? what do you do when the things you fight for to keep for yourself are ripped right out of your hands? you keep fighting, sure, but what happens when the fight is too hard to keep fighting on your own?
he watches her from the corner of his eye, but he does scoot a tiny bit closer even while he stares at the river instead to mull over an answer. ]
... this might not mean much coming from me, because we just met. But I think the fact that you have come this far is something you need to be proud of. It's a sign that you've changed. I think it's that trying to find yourself is one of those things that can be really hard when you don't know what that always looks like. I know I've come pretty far since last year, too, but... I still don't really know where I'm going. There's still a lot left for me to figure out.
But going backwards isn't an option. You worked hard to find those parts and earn them. They're yours to keep, and nobody should get to take those away. Especially not some dumb river. [ ... ] It's scary to think about losing those parts, because sometimes it makes you think about if they were ever really yours at all. But they are. No matter what.
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It's... so true. She can't. She can't go back anymore. She's slowly taking steps towards what she wants, even if she doesn't fully understand where that will lead her. And in the end... she'll have to meet her mother again. She'll have to reaffirm her stance again.
Both Yosuke and Tsukasa think she's come so far, even if it doesn't feel like it. ]
I don't want to let the river take anything. Not if I don't have to.
... What were you like last year?
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for mafuyu, even if he doesn't know everything about her, the things she's seen in memories and the things she's said are enough he can read the lines and paint a familiar picture. when you're desperate to change and have something for your own, you cling with all you have even if sometimes you tire yourself out. ]
I'm glad you weren't hurt more than you already were. [ first of all. ] I wish we had more bandages and stuff, but we're going to make it work. Don't worry.
[ medea had asked him if he would have dunked himself in the river if he knew it'd take something from him, and he had said no. if he'd know it'd take his persona, of course he'd refuse. he understands the idea now, a sacrifice for a restoration, but there are too many things he's fought too hard for to be taken out of his control. he figures mafuyu feels the same.
he wants to ask her about what happened on her adventure, how things went, but he's also fine letting the conversation flow however is comfortable for her. he's learned enough how to work with people who are quieter. when they ask questions, you answer them. ]
As for last year... lonely? [ a little wry, but he thinks that's a good summation. ] But it was so much easier to pretend I wasn't and lie to people about how I felt to try and keep them around. [ he thinks about stopping there, but then he thinks maybe this will help clarify why he says some of the things he says. ] I felt like I was suffocating, wasting away in a tiny town I never wanted to move to. I didn't want Inaba, and Inaba didn't want us. But I didn't want to cause more trouble for my family by speaking up against the things people said, so I tried to act like everything was fine and I had nothing to worry about.
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She can understand that all too well. She wonders if that's why he's seemed so concerned about her, because he recognizes aspects of what he's lived in her. ]
But you're not lonely anymore... and you're more honest? I don't feel like you've been lying to me, anyway.
[ Unlike Mafuyu, who started off being pleasant and amicable with everyone at the very beginning, desperate for a sense of stability and refusing to reveal her true, fractured nature. ]
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there's a soft laugh under his breath when she says that though, not quite self-deprecating but not quite accepting either. ]
I don't have a reason to lie to you. [ try to impress her and other people, sure, but not really outright lie. he also doesn't address the lonely thing because that's a whole other issue. ] But I'm trying to be. More honest, I mean. I made a promise to myself that I'd try to keep living and stop running away. But even wanting to do that, it doesn't always mean it's easy.
[ or, like, that he's successful. ]
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... It's not easy. And sometimes, you do have to run away. So it's even harder to determine what the right course of action should be.
[ Mafuyu is quiet for a few more minutes after that, and then finally, her shoulders slump a bit. ]
You have questions. I said I'd answer them.
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