[ even if he didn't have the experience he has, he would've been a little concerned about her, but that certainly hasn't helped. he doesn't think he has to spell it out for her, why he's been here consistently and trying to get her to talk about things little by little. he had expected questions, but not quite that one. ]
... it was both. But at first, I wanted everyone to think that it was just for her. I thought that if I found the culprit and brought them to justice, I'd finally have a purpose in Inaba. Maybe I could've been a hero, and things could've been better. I'd have a reason to be special.
It should've. I marched up to Yu and told him I was going into the TV world and he was coming with me, because I couldn't get there myself. I had to go see what I could find about Saki-senpai.
[ mmmmmm. he thinks about this for a moment. ]
Your reflection called you a coward and tried to tell you that your true self wasn't what anybody wanted. It reminded you that you were scared to be rejected, and of what happened to you and your mom. [ lightly, like he doesn't want to bring it up again but as a point. ]
...my Shadow said I thought everything around me was a pain in the ass... reminded me how sick I was of living out in the sticks with nothing to do. The murders were the first "exciting" thing to happen since I'd moved there six months ago, and I was only there because it sounded like a good time. Exploring a brand new world? Why wouldn't that be exciting? Saki-senpai's death was just an excuse, and if I was the one to solve it, people would think more highly of me.
[ there's a small, bitter smirk. ]
"You put on a good show of being carefree and happy-go-lucky 'cause you're so terrified of being alone. The more the merrier, right? You've gotta be surrounded by people to block out the pain of isolation."
... I denied it, obviously. I said none of it was true, that it didn't know me. And it said that of course it did, because it was me. So I denied it again. It couldn't have been me, because it was nothing like me, right? I didn't really feel that way. I didn't think that way at all. But... when you deny your feelings for too long, eventually they'll grow too strong. So my Shadow became a monster.
There's the slightest twinge of discomfort for her when he recounts what she told him, even though she accepts it. Those words, coming out of her own (reflection's) mouth, were only slightly better compared to Kaito's bitter, accusatory tone when he told her to wake up, that her mother was systematically destroying everything she'd learned about herself so far.
She'd denied it then, loudly, scared. It's easy enough to imagine Yosuke lashing out at something he didn't understand, saying words that didn't seek to prove understanding, only to target the weak points. ]
It became a monster, after it said so many painful things. You were already compromised.
but yes. he figures it's an easy enough comparison to understand. the emotion that kind of floats around is still a little shame, and a little resignation as he shrugs. ]
Yeah, but I passed out after it transformed. If it weren't for Yu... [ well. he shakes his head. ]
After he beat it and I came to, it had turned back into looking like me again. It was waiting for me to accept it, and to admit that those were my real feelings and fears. I still didn't want to, because I was ashamed that they were real and even more that someone else had to see all of them like that. But... I did accept that it was me, and it came back into my heart as something else. And since then it's been my power.
[ without notice, a hand's come up to linger over his chest. ]
That's what the river took from me. And that's why I couldn't understand how.
I see... the acceptance of your shadow. It's... very Jungian. Your repressed self. The potential it could take, one way or another. The shadow, to the persona.
[ Jung would have had a field day with this. She glances down at his hand for a moment. ]
... For the river to take something like that... means that nothing is really off-limits. It's entirely possible it could remove a person's entire self, even if not permanently.
That's... what's called, actually. When I accepted my Shadow, it became my Persona. [ ... ] That's how Yu beat my Shadow, and that's how we kept beating everybody else's. As more people we knew started getting kidnapped, their Shadows would appear as soon as they were in the TV. To rescue them, we'd find their dungeon, get to the top, and fight their Shadow to help them accept themselves. Naoto said it's like... a Shadow's suppressed power, but when controlled by a person's ego it turns into a Persona.
[ so yes. the idea it can be removed is scary. ]
I still don't understand how it came back either, but I care less about that. I don't want to lose it ever again... to have to feel that weird emptiness.
Then... we just have to make sure you aren't badly hurt.
[ ... Hm. ]
I'll do my best to protect you, Hanamura-san.
[ So says the noncombatant. But that's quite a thing to lose, even temporarily. She's not sure how that feels, but she thinks it would leave her feeling even more empty than before.
I'm pretty sure that's supposed to be my line to you. [ ms. noncombatant. but there's a sense of gratitude in that offer because he knows where it's coming from. ] Maybe we can do our best to have each other's backs. I don't want to see anything like this ever happen to you again either, you know?
[ okay he would 100% hug her again but he's being polite and not overstepping boundaries and he thinks maybe she's been fairly vulnerable today.
but. ]
Healing spell. [ now that he's told her about his persona he'll just outright say it. ] It doesn't work nearly as well as it should here, but it should help with some of the soreness. One less thing on your mind.
he laughs under his breath because he should've expected this, but give it a few seconds. there's a quick takehaya susano-o said to himself before there's a brief burst of light and this thing hovers behind him.
it's wordless but it's also obvious yosuke's the one controlling the persona when it suddenly moves its arms and arches its back to cast a gust of warm air, a green healing light surrounding her in a tunnel as a patch of grass and purple flowers appears beneath her. our healing is nerfed real bad, but it should at least heal any minor cuts and little booboos if you want and otherwise help ease the soreness and tired feeling, just like he said. the light and the grass fades, but the persona stays behind him just in case. ]
Mafuyu blinks, clearly surprised (for once) but also not flinching or yelping or doing anything that a normal surprised person would (understandably) do. She just stays still.
Interesting, how clearly she can feel what heals... ]
Yeah? I'm glad to hear it. [ genuinely, there is relief coming from him that a.) his persona is back to normal and that b.) he was able to help. ] ... usually it's able to heal every injury somebody has, but it's been like this since we got here. Knowing what we know about the river, I kinda wonder if that's why.
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depressured) wrote2025-11-03 09:04 pm
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... it was both. But at first, I wanted everyone to think that it was just for her. I thought that if I found the culprit and brought them to justice, I'd finally have a purpose in Inaba. Maybe I could've been a hero, and things could've been better. I'd have a reason to be special.
[ ask him how that went. ]
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[ She's asking him how it went. Be proud of her, bracket text. ]
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[ mmmmmm. he thinks about this for a moment. ]
Your reflection called you a coward and tried to tell you that your true self wasn't what anybody wanted. It reminded you that you were scared to be rejected, and of what happened to you and your mom. [ lightly, like he doesn't want to bring it up again but as a point. ]
...my Shadow said I thought everything around me was a pain in the ass... reminded me how sick I was of living out in the sticks with nothing to do. The murders were the first "exciting" thing to happen since I'd moved there six months ago, and I was only there because it sounded like a good time. Exploring a brand new world? Why wouldn't that be exciting? Saki-senpai's death was just an excuse, and if I was the one to solve it, people would think more highly of me.
[ there's a small, bitter smirk. ]
"You put on a good show of being carefree and happy-go-lucky 'cause you're so terrified of being alone. The more the merrier, right? You've gotta be surrounded by people to block out the pain of isolation."
... I denied it, obviously. I said none of it was true, that it didn't know me. And it said that of course it did, because it was me. So I denied it again. It couldn't have been me, because it was nothing like me, right? I didn't really feel that way. I didn't think that way at all. But... when you deny your feelings for too long, eventually they'll grow too strong. So my Shadow became a monster.
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There's the slightest twinge of discomfort for her when he recounts what she told him, even though she accepts it. Those words, coming out of her own (reflection's) mouth, were only slightly better compared to Kaito's bitter, accusatory tone when he told her to wake up, that her mother was systematically destroying everything she'd learned about herself so far.
She'd denied it then, loudly, scared. It's easy enough to imagine Yosuke lashing out at something he didn't understand, saying words that didn't seek to prove understanding, only to target the weak points. ]
It became a monster, after it said so many painful things. You were already compromised.
... I'm assuming it tried to kill you?
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but yes. he figures it's an easy enough comparison to understand. the emotion that kind of floats around is still a little shame, and a little resignation as he shrugs. ]
Yeah, but I passed out after it transformed. If it weren't for Yu... [ well. he shakes his head. ]
After he beat it and I came to, it had turned back into looking like me again. It was waiting for me to accept it, and to admit that those were my real feelings and fears. I still didn't want to, because I was ashamed that they were real and even more that someone else had to see all of them like that. But... I did accept that it was me, and it came back into my heart as something else. And since then it's been my power.
[ without notice, a hand's come up to linger over his chest. ]
That's what the river took from me. And that's why I couldn't understand how.
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[ Jung would have had a field day with this. She glances down at his hand for a moment. ]
... For the river to take something like that... means that nothing is really off-limits. It's entirely possible it could remove a person's entire self, even if not permanently.
no subject
That's... what's called, actually. When I accepted my Shadow, it became my Persona. [ ... ] That's how Yu beat my Shadow, and that's how we kept beating everybody else's. As more people we knew started getting kidnapped, their Shadows would appear as soon as they were in the TV. To rescue them, we'd find their dungeon, get to the top, and fight their Shadow to help them accept themselves. Naoto said it's like... a Shadow's suppressed power, but when controlled by a person's ego it turns into a Persona.
[ so yes. the idea it can be removed is scary. ]
I still don't understand how it came back either, but I care less about that. I don't want to lose it ever again... to have to feel that weird emptiness.
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[ ... Hm. ]
I'll do my best to protect you, Hanamura-san.
[ So says the noncombatant. But that's quite a thing to lose, even temporarily. She's not sure how that feels, but she thinks it would leave her feeling even more empty than before.
... She doesn't want anyone else to feel empty. ]
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I'm pretty sure that's supposed to be my line to you. [ ms. noncombatant. but there's a sense of gratitude in that offer because he knows where it's coming from. ] Maybe we can do our best to have each other's backs. I don't want to see anything like this ever happen to you again either, you know?
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[ And yet, here she is. Hurting. ]
But I'll agree to that. I think that's fair. [ Yosuke will do way more protecting, but. You know. Mafuyu will find other ways to be useful. ]
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Then it's settled. I'll be there. [ and she can do the same. she can be the brains when the rest of the teenage boys in purgatory are stupid as hell.
though... ]
Can I do something for you right now then?
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[ Are we hugging it out? Are we vibing? ]
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but. ]
Healing spell. [ now that he's told her about his persona he'll just outright say it. ] It doesn't work nearly as well as it should here, but it should help with some of the soreness. One less thing on your mind.
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Oh... if it's not going to cause any strain on you, that's fine.
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Nah, if it's just one spell it shouldn't drain me. You can close your eyes if you want though.
[ if she doesn't want to look at whatever bizarre thing he's about to summon and just wants to relax. ]
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And continues to stare.
Without closing her eyes. Go right ahead, Yosuke. ]
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he laughs under his breath because he should've expected this, but give it a few seconds. there's a quick takehaya susano-o said to himself before there's a brief burst of light and this thing hovers behind him.
it's wordless but it's also obvious yosuke's the one controlling the persona when it suddenly moves its arms and arches its back to cast a gust of warm air, a green healing light surrounding her in a tunnel as a patch of grass and purple flowers appears beneath her. our healing is nerfed real bad, but it should at least heal any minor cuts and little booboos if you want and otherwise help ease the soreness and tired feeling, just like he said. the light and the grass fades, but the persona stays behind him just in case. ]
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Mafuyu blinks, clearly surprised (for once) but also not flinching or yelping or doing anything that a normal surprised person would (understandably) do. She just stays still.
Interesting, how clearly she can feel what heals... ]
... Mm. That helps.
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[ That's... a lot. Almost manipulative, isn't it? ]
This should shorten the healing process, at least. Thank you.
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[ for now. there's another soft burst of light before his persona disappears, and then it's just the two of them at the river again. ]
... you've been through a lot, but you made it. So take whatever time you need to rest up. [ ... ] Thank you for telling me about what happened.
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[ She says this so matter-of-factly. But she means it. Friends... talk about these things, when asked.
Probably. ]
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Yeah, you're right. [ an easy agreement. ] ... wanna stay out here for a little longer, or head back?
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[ And not out here or she's going to get scolded. ]
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Come on. I'll walk with you.
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