It's... so true. She can't. She can't go back anymore. She's slowly taking steps towards what she wants, even if she doesn't fully understand where that will lead her. And in the end... she'll have to meet her mother again. She'll have to reaffirm her stance again.
Both Yosuke and Tsukasa think she's come so far, even if it doesn't feel like it. ]
I don't want to let the river take anything. Not if I don't have to.
[ it's always easier for other people to see your progress. but isn't that the point of having other people to support you? they're the ones who will remind you of the work you've put in already and what you're fighting for.
for mafuyu, even if he doesn't know everything about her, the things she's seen in memories and the things she's said are enough he can read the lines and paint a familiar picture. when you're desperate to change and have something for your own, you cling with all you have even if sometimes you tire yourself out. ]
I'm glad you weren't hurt more than you already were. [ first of all. ] I wish we had more bandages and stuff, but we're going to make it work. Don't worry.
[ medea had asked him if he would have dunked himself in the river if he knew it'd take something from him, and he had said no. if he'd know it'd take his persona, of course he'd refuse. he understands the idea now, a sacrifice for a restoration, but there are too many things he's fought too hard for to be taken out of his control. he figures mafuyu feels the same.
he wants to ask her about what happened on her adventure, how things went, but he's also fine letting the conversation flow however is comfortable for her. he's learned enough how to work with people who are quieter. when they ask questions, you answer them. ]
As for last year... lonely? [ a little wry, but he thinks that's a good summation. ] But it was so much easier to pretend I wasn't and lie to people about how I felt to try and keep them around. [ he thinks about stopping there, but then he thinks maybe this will help clarify why he says some of the things he says. ] I felt like I was suffocating, wasting away in a tiny town I never wanted to move to. I didn't want Inaba, and Inaba didn't want us. But I didn't want to cause more trouble for my family by speaking up against the things people said, so I tried to act like everything was fine and I had nothing to worry about.
[ There are things she can't relate to and things she can. Mafuyu hasn't moved. She's never lived in a tiny town, though she imagines if she'd moved to one, it might be simpler. She hasn't had to face... resentment? It sounds like resentment. But to keep up a certain facade, to avoid causing trouble for her family? Acting like everything was fine?
She can understand that all too well. She wonders if that's why he's seemed so concerned about her, because he recognizes aspects of what he's lived in her. ]
But you're not lonely anymore... and you're more honest? I don't feel like you've been lying to me, anyway.
[ Unlike Mafuyu, who started off being pleasant and amicable with everyone at the very beginning, desperate for a sense of stability and refusing to reveal her true, fractured nature. ]
[ it's a little too easy to imagine what her shadow might say to her, yeah.
there's a soft laugh under his breath when she says that though, not quite self-deprecating but not quite accepting either. ]
I don't have a reason to lie to you. [ try to impress her and other people, sure, but not really outright lie. he also doesn't address the lonely thing because that's a whole other issue. ] But I'm trying to be. More honest, I mean. I made a promise to myself that I'd try to keep living and stop running away. But even wanting to do that, it doesn't always mean it's easy.
[ She says nothing to point it out, but she does silently note that he'd skipped right over that loneliness. Well, he had said he missed his friends. Maybe it went beyond just here. ]
... It's not easy. And sometimes, you do have to run away. So it's even harder to determine what the right course of action should be.
[ Mafuyu is quiet for a few more minutes after that, and then finally, her shoulders slump a bit. ]
[ it sure does, and maybe he'll talk about that another time. ]
... I can't disagree with that. Sometimes there're things you're not ready to face, or things that will have consequences you don't want. So you run and strategize again. But at the same time, that's when you have other people you can count on to ask for help.
[ but enough of that. instead, he stays quiet when she falls quiet, turning his head to watch her again. ]
You did. [ there's a half-smile of gratitude, but he seems to be deciding the best route. ] ... you said it was hard to think because everything was so loud when you guys got back. Does your head feel a little more clear now?
[ She lifts a hand up to her hair, where the bunny ears had once been. ]
I could hear better with those ears, but there was also a lot happening. I spent time with someone whose singing voice could shatter stone, and then we had to fight him. There were explosions, as well.
[ Just a lot of Noise. ]
And not much time to rest before we were suddenly forced into a dating show that I was compelled to answer questions for... so I took some time to think about everything that happened and how I felt about it.
[ his gaze flicks up to the top of her head and then back down to her face. ]
Sorry about the questions, by the way... but it was the only way for us to take a shot at figuring out who you were. [ and she'd said "but i would accept outside advice as to what they liked and give them what they desired." and that's about when he started thinking it was her. ] Not sure I like the part where you guys had to be aware and play along just to come back.
[ but he shakes his head because what's done is done. ]
Sounds like a lot happened out there. Will you tell me about it? Where did you actually go?
[ Dutifully. The roar was, in actuality, Mafuyu sighing and also choosing not to answer the question, so. Still a valid call-out. ]
... As to where we went... it was some sort of castle in the mist. We were together briefly when we entered, but then once we found an altar upstairs, the doors closed behind us. Edamura-san thought he could hear something, and Tsukasa found a troupe in the middle of practice, but I realized the doors were unlocked again.
They led to an empty ballroom where someone was hiding under a table, and when I went to check on them, the doors closed again. That's how we were separated.
You're plenty cute, but I can see you're not gonna let me live that down...
[ damn. she's so right though, i would also roar if some moron was badgering me with stupid questions.
that aside... ]
Sounds like you guys split up pretty early. [ different than theirs already. ] Wait, does that mean you were by yourself for a while? [ also, he's going to regret asking perhaps: ] Who was under the table... ?
A man... he was afraid of me at first, but he realized I wasn't a part of the castle. He said staying with him was dangerous, but he also agreed to help me find the others and he asked me to sing for him. He said... he couldn't sing anymore, but I could tell he truly loved music.
So he--Lucian--accompanied me for most of my time there, since I was a noncombatant.
Afraid of you? [ in a slightly confused tone because she's not exactly intimidating, but he also doesn't know the circumstances. ]
Even though it was dangerous you let him come with you? I guess there wasn't really another option that would make sense at that point. [ this feels like a trap already, but he's remaining as impassive as possible. ]
How'd you get out of the room? Where did you guys go next?
At first, yes. She reminded me of the pain I'd caused my mother... and called me a coward. She said my true self wasn't what anyone wanted. And that I didn't want to be alone.
It made me remember... how scared I still am of being rejected.
[ again, he's going to blow up purgatory. unfortunately though he's been keeping his emotions in check around her there is a brief little spike of worry and also anger when she says that before he puts them back in check. ]
... am. As in currently? [ he has a lot to say still about all of that, but he's not going to jump in and say "that's not true!" until he gets a better sense of where her head is at. ]
[ It's brief. It's not as intense. She doesn't wince this time, at the very least. ]
... Yes. I'm still afraid of that.
[ She might always be afraid of that. She's lived the reality of the pain of rejection. From the one person she'd wanted to understand more than anyone. ]
[ he's going to be the last person to tell her to get over it. ]
Sometimes I think the bravest and the scariest thing in the world is being yourself and showing people who you really are. It's... always in the back of your head a little, thinking about the people you care about and if they'll still love you if they really knew the real you. At the same time, you always want the people closest to you to really see you.
One of those situations where you have to decide how far you're going to run away. [ he has more to say on this, but he lets that hang for a second. ]
[ He says it and that really is the honest truth. To want to be seen. To want to be loved, for her true self. Even if that self is imperfect. To have that self chalked up to a "passing fancy", the bad influence of her friends...
Mafuyu closes her eyes briefly. ]
I told her I've met a lot of stubborn people here who wouldn't leave me alone. Even seeing the non-perfect me. And that I had to try... to believe I was worthy of being cared about. Moving forward.
[ this is where they differ because he's never experienced the pain of a rejection from a parent, and it bothers him that a parent could actually say these things to their child. some of his friends have neglectful parents, sure, but this is...
that's neither here nor there, because she continues and he grins faintly. ]
Impressive, Asahina-san. [ a little teasing, but then his expression softens again. ] You aren't wrong. People aren't going to leave you alone, even seeing the parts of you that feel imperfect. People like that person for everything she is. I'm glad that you're willing to keep trying. And that you can tell yourself you're willing to try.
[ he opens his mouth to say something to that, but he decides they should get through the story first and he can loop back around to it. ]
You're not even the most blunt person here. [ he will say that one thing though before dropping it for now. we will come back. anyway, moving statues sound creepy and annoying. ]
Oh. So that's what you meant about a singer who could shatter stone. [ ... ] Wait, if he was with you the whole time, why did you end up fighting him?
He can't sing normally anymore. His singing voice is a destructive force.
[ Which would be a problem in a normal performance. ]
He was with me the whole time, including arming me with a bow, since I know archery, but then shortly after that... we were attacked by a bear doll in a coffin and the collar he had around his neck went off. Like, electrocuted them both. He got the collar off, but then there was a voice in the walls that called him a centerpiece and a murderer and called for an encore, and he...
[ ... ]
He went into some sort of trance. I tried to stop him, but he threw me to the side and entered a mirror like it was a door.
I regrouped with Tsukasa and Edamura-san shortly after that.
[ he is picturing the idea of exploding heads, yeah, and that's not good. there's a brief ? at her saying she knows archery but then he's more focused on the. bear? electrocution? all of this is a lot actually, he's taking a few moments to process as she's telling him this. ]
So he was with you and helping you defend yourself up until something... hypnotized him? And then he vanished and you had to find your own way. [ this is starting to sound bad. ]
What happened after you found Tsukasa and Edamura-san? Did you find where Lucian went through the mirror? [ ... ]
One of his friends explained the situation to us and helped us prepare for an inevitable fight. She said he had something on him that this troupe's Mouthpiece was using to control him. So we gained access to weapons and more defensive things to allow us to protect ourselves and try to slow him down.
And then we went to the theater to fight on the stage.
[ This is the abridged version. She's still tired. ]
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depressured) wrote2025-11-03 09:04 pm
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It's... so true. She can't. She can't go back anymore. She's slowly taking steps towards what she wants, even if she doesn't fully understand where that will lead her. And in the end... she'll have to meet her mother again. She'll have to reaffirm her stance again.
Both Yosuke and Tsukasa think she's come so far, even if it doesn't feel like it. ]
I don't want to let the river take anything. Not if I don't have to.
... What were you like last year?
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for mafuyu, even if he doesn't know everything about her, the things she's seen in memories and the things she's said are enough he can read the lines and paint a familiar picture. when you're desperate to change and have something for your own, you cling with all you have even if sometimes you tire yourself out. ]
I'm glad you weren't hurt more than you already were. [ first of all. ] I wish we had more bandages and stuff, but we're going to make it work. Don't worry.
[ medea had asked him if he would have dunked himself in the river if he knew it'd take something from him, and he had said no. if he'd know it'd take his persona, of course he'd refuse. he understands the idea now, a sacrifice for a restoration, but there are too many things he's fought too hard for to be taken out of his control. he figures mafuyu feels the same.
he wants to ask her about what happened on her adventure, how things went, but he's also fine letting the conversation flow however is comfortable for her. he's learned enough how to work with people who are quieter. when they ask questions, you answer them. ]
As for last year... lonely? [ a little wry, but he thinks that's a good summation. ] But it was so much easier to pretend I wasn't and lie to people about how I felt to try and keep them around. [ he thinks about stopping there, but then he thinks maybe this will help clarify why he says some of the things he says. ] I felt like I was suffocating, wasting away in a tiny town I never wanted to move to. I didn't want Inaba, and Inaba didn't want us. But I didn't want to cause more trouble for my family by speaking up against the things people said, so I tried to act like everything was fine and I had nothing to worry about.
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She can understand that all too well. She wonders if that's why he's seemed so concerned about her, because he recognizes aspects of what he's lived in her. ]
But you're not lonely anymore... and you're more honest? I don't feel like you've been lying to me, anyway.
[ Unlike Mafuyu, who started off being pleasant and amicable with everyone at the very beginning, desperate for a sense of stability and refusing to reveal her true, fractured nature. ]
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there's a soft laugh under his breath when she says that though, not quite self-deprecating but not quite accepting either. ]
I don't have a reason to lie to you. [ try to impress her and other people, sure, but not really outright lie. he also doesn't address the lonely thing because that's a whole other issue. ] But I'm trying to be. More honest, I mean. I made a promise to myself that I'd try to keep living and stop running away. But even wanting to do that, it doesn't always mean it's easy.
[ or, like, that he's successful. ]
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... It's not easy. And sometimes, you do have to run away. So it's even harder to determine what the right course of action should be.
[ Mafuyu is quiet for a few more minutes after that, and then finally, her shoulders slump a bit. ]
You have questions. I said I'd answer them.
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... I can't disagree with that. Sometimes there're things you're not ready to face, or things that will have consequences you don't want. So you run and strategize again. But at the same time, that's when you have other people you can count on to ask for help.
[ but enough of that. instead, he stays quiet when she falls quiet, turning his head to watch her again. ]
You did. [ there's a half-smile of gratitude, but he seems to be deciding the best route. ] ... you said it was hard to think because everything was so loud when you guys got back. Does your head feel a little more clear now?
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[ She lifts a hand up to her hair, where the bunny ears had once been. ]
I could hear better with those ears, but there was also a lot happening. I spent time with someone whose singing voice could shatter stone, and then we had to fight him. There were explosions, as well.
[ Just a lot of Noise. ]
And not much time to rest before we were suddenly forced into a dating show that I was compelled to answer questions for... so I took some time to think about everything that happened and how I felt about it.
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Sorry about the questions, by the way... but it was the only way for us to take a shot at figuring out who you were. [ and she'd said "but i would accept outside advice as to what they liked and give them what they desired." and that's about when he started thinking it was her. ] Not sure I like the part where you guys had to be aware and play along just to come back.
[ but he shakes his head because what's done is done. ]
Sounds like a lot happened out there. Will you tell me about it? Where did you actually go?
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[ Dutifully. The roar was, in actuality, Mafuyu sighing and also choosing not to answer the question, so. Still a valid call-out. ]
... As to where we went... it was some sort of castle in the mist. We were together briefly when we entered, but then once we found an altar upstairs, the doors closed behind us. Edamura-san thought he could hear something, and Tsukasa found a troupe in the middle of practice, but I realized the doors were unlocked again.
They led to an empty ballroom where someone was hiding under a table, and when I went to check on them, the doors closed again. That's how we were separated.
no subject
[ damn. she's so right though, i would also roar if some moron was badgering me with stupid questions.
that aside... ]
Sounds like you guys split up pretty early. [ different than theirs already. ] Wait, does that mean you were by yourself for a while? [ also, he's going to regret asking perhaps: ] Who was under the table... ?
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A man... he was afraid of me at first, but he realized I wasn't a part of the castle. He said staying with him was dangerous, but he also agreed to help me find the others and he asked me to sing for him. He said... he couldn't sing anymore, but I could tell he truly loved music.
So he--Lucian--accompanied me for most of my time there, since I was a noncombatant.
no subject
Even though it was dangerous you let him come with you? I guess there wasn't really another option that would make sense at that point. [ this feels like a trap already, but he's remaining as impassive as possible. ]
How'd you get out of the room? Where did you guys go next?
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[ She takes a breath. ]
We were able to leave out another door, but then we ended up in a room with a mirror and statues with their eyes closed.
... The mirror had my reflection and his. Mine said... a lot of things, about my insecurities. And my feelings. What I was afraid of.
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... hard to avoid when it's literally looking you in the face. [ that sounds hellish actually. though he does have to ask: ] Were they true?
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It made me remember... how scared I still am of being rejected.
[ Basically she did indeed meet her shadow-- ]
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... am. As in currently? [ he has a lot to say still about all of that, but he's not going to jump in and say "that's not true!" until he gets a better sense of where her head is at. ]
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... Yes. I'm still afraid of that.
[ She might always be afraid of that. She's lived the reality of the pain of rejection. From the one person she'd wanted to understand more than anyone. ]
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Sometimes I think the bravest and the scariest thing in the world is being yourself and showing people who you really are. It's... always in the back of your head a little, thinking about the people you care about and if they'll still love you if they really knew the real you. At the same time, you always want the people closest to you to really see you.
One of those situations where you have to decide how far you're going to run away. [ he has more to say on this, but he lets that hang for a second. ]
What did you say to her?
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Mafuyu closes her eyes briefly. ]
I told her I've met a lot of stubborn people here who wouldn't leave me alone. Even seeing the non-perfect me. And that I had to try... to believe I was worthy of being cared about. Moving forward.
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that's neither here nor there, because she continues and he grins faintly. ]
Impressive, Asahina-san. [ a little teasing, but then his expression softens again. ] You aren't wrong. People aren't going to leave you alone, even seeing the parts of you that feel imperfect. People like that person for everything she is. I'm glad that you're willing to keep trying. And that you can tell yourself you're willing to try.
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[ And she accepts that. She has to accept that, rather. ]
... Anyway, then the statues started to move on the attack and Lucian sang to explode them.
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You're not even the most blunt person here. [ he will say that one thing though before dropping it for now. we will come back. anyway, moving statues sound creepy and annoying. ]
Oh. So that's what you meant about a singer who could shatter stone. [ ... ] Wait, if he was with you the whole time, why did you end up fighting him?
[ double-wait. ]
And didn't he tell you he couldn't sing anymore?
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[ Which would be a problem in a normal performance. ]
He was with me the whole time, including arming me with a bow, since I know archery, but then shortly after that... we were attacked by a bear doll in a coffin and the collar he had around his neck went off. Like, electrocuted them both. He got the collar off, but then there was a voice in the walls that called him a centerpiece and a murderer and called for an encore, and he...
[ ... ]
He went into some sort of trance. I tried to stop him, but he threw me to the side and entered a mirror like it was a door.
I regrouped with Tsukasa and Edamura-san shortly after that.
no subject
So he was with you and helping you defend yourself up until something... hypnotized him? And then he vanished and you had to find your own way. [ this is starting to sound bad. ]
What happened after you found Tsukasa and Edamura-san? Did you find where Lucian went through the mirror? [ ... ]
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And then we went to the theater to fight on the stage.
[ This is the abridged version. She's still tired. ]
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