The thought is quiet, almost peaceful. He breathes out a quiet sigh, and shakes his head, and admits:]
I... don't know what to do either.
[He's trying not to think about it too hard. He's trying not to focus on things he can't change. But this is untread, unknown territory. Tsukasa doesn't know any better than Mafuyu how to handle this.
Keep moving forward, step by step. Find Saki. Save everyone. That's all he knows, and he's clutching to it with all of his strength.]
But Mafuyu... I really do think--at least... at least for now, this is enough.
She's quiet, thinking that through, without it taking prevalence over the mess of her thoughts right now. But it's still important. It feels important. ]
... Then...
[ If it really helps... if it at least provides a sense of stability and solidarity, the way it has for her-- ]
[For now, they can just remain here like this, while both of them try to get their thoughts in order.
Tsukasa's own thoughts are very carefully blank, very carefully focused to a single point: to this moment only, to doing what he can right here and now.
The rest of the tangled mess he'll try to parse through later. This, after all, is how he handles things.]
Sort of. Neither one of them is willing to let go of the other until they're ready to be let go of, and there's too much to process that they can't fully process right now. Although Mafuyu's thoughts remain a jumbled mess of their own, they're muffled. She's Dealing.
But gradually, she's not sure what happens. Maybe she dozes off. Maybe he does. She doesn't remember. But it does eventually lead to the both of them toppling onto the bed proper and falling asleep. Or, rather. Passing out from sheer exhaustion.
[He doesn't mean to fall asleep. But... of course, he's exhausted. It has been an absolutely insane day on top of the rest of the insanity of the week (on top of the insanity of every other week since they've arrived).
Tsukasa hasn't stopped since the very beginning--hasn't been able to stop.
And now, while trying to keep Mafuyu afloat and parse his own troubled, tangled feelings about what just happened today, he finds himself slowly drifting off.
But of course, what just happened doesn't just disappear because they took a moment to hug and try to steady their feelings. They've only been asleep for an hour or two at the most when Tsukasa shifts, a distressed noise escaping him even in his sleep--his nightmares of monsters and blood, everywhere (so much blood), and the lifeless eyes of the people here who have become precious to him.]
[ Mafuyu is, for better or worse, used to nightmares. It usually involves powering through them or waking and just forcing herself to rest with her eyes closed without being able to fall back asleep.
But she's never slept beside someone, or while hugging them, and so when Tsukasa starts shifting and that distress both reaches her ears and those nightmarish thoughts follow suit, she opens her eyes.
Oh.
For a few minutes, Mafuyu just blinks and processes what's going on, both her thoughts and Tsukasa's a muddle while she's trying to figure out how they wound up like this in the first place.
But that distress takes precedence, and despite not really knowing what to do, she frees an arm, reaching out to brush his bangs away from his eyes. Something like additional, different contact. ]
[Tsukasa has never been a particularly light sleeper--but he's not sleeping well right now by any sense of the word.
So she brushes his bangs from his face and Tsukasa stirs slowly, brow furrowing--before he finally wakes up very suddenly with a sharp inhalation of air.
[ Very quietly. It's pretty much a whisper. There's no need to be loud when he's right there and it's late (but let's be real, she wouldn't be loud anyway). ]
[... He shakes his head a little at that, but he won't complain as she gets up to turn off the light.
Instead, he covers his eyes with an arm as he slumps back against the bed.]
I'm fine, really.
[He can't overthink this or he will force himself to get out of poor Mafuyu's bed and stagger his way back to his room, whether he's helping her by being here or not.]
[ Yeah, don't overthink it. She's also not overthinking it. Instead, she's turning off the light and returning to the bed, hesitating a bit before she lies beside him.
He's the one doing her a favor, and she's reluctant to ask, but... ]
His expression softens at that, and immediately, he lowers his arm from over his eyes to instead reach out to take her hand in his, squeezing it gently.]
Of course! ... Of course.
[Mafuyu never asks for anything.
He's really glad--she could ask for this much, and he's really glad he could give her what she needs.]
And she doesn't. She's also tired. So she curls her fingers around his, attentive to his breathing just to ensure he doesn't immediately tumble back into another nightmare...
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depressured) wrote2025-11-03 09:04 pm
no subject
I w-want to do more... but I don't know what to do... a-at all.
[ All she can do is be here. She's not sure that's enough, even if Tsukasa seems grateful for it. How could it possibly be enough? ]
no subject
The thought is quiet, almost peaceful. He breathes out a quiet sigh, and shakes his head, and admits:]
I... don't know what to do either.
[He's trying not to think about it too hard. He's trying not to focus on things he can't change. But this is untread, unknown territory. Tsukasa doesn't know any better than Mafuyu how to handle this.
Keep moving forward, step by step. Find Saki. Save everyone. That's all he knows, and he's clutching to it with all of his strength.]
But Mafuyu... I really do think--at least... at least for now, this is enough.
[For him. Hopefully for her, as well.]
no subject
She's quiet, thinking that through, without it taking prevalence over the mess of her thoughts right now. But it's still important. It feels important. ]
... Then...
[ If it really helps... if it at least provides a sense of stability and solidarity, the way it has for her-- ]
I'll hold on. As long as you want me to.
no subject
... Thank you, Mafuyu.
[For now, they can just remain here like this, while both of them try to get their thoughts in order.
Tsukasa's own thoughts are very carefully blank, very carefully focused to a single point: to this moment only, to doing what he can right here and now.
The rest of the tangled mess he'll try to parse through later. This, after all, is how he handles things.]
no subject
Sort of. Neither one of them is willing to let go of the other until they're ready to be let go of, and there's too much to process that they can't fully process right now. Although Mafuyu's thoughts remain a jumbled mess of their own, they're muffled. She's Dealing.
But gradually, she's not sure what happens. Maybe she dozes off. Maybe he does. She doesn't remember. But it does eventually lead to the both of them toppling onto the bed proper and falling asleep. Or, rather. Passing out from sheer exhaustion.
This is not romantic, voyeurs. ]
no subject
Tsukasa hasn't stopped since the very beginning--hasn't been able to stop.
And now, while trying to keep Mafuyu afloat and parse his own troubled, tangled feelings about what just happened today, he finds himself slowly drifting off.
But of course, what just happened doesn't just disappear because they took a moment to hug and try to steady their feelings. They've only been asleep for an hour or two at the most when Tsukasa shifts, a distressed noise escaping him even in his sleep--his nightmares of monsters and blood, everywhere (so much blood), and the lifeless eyes of the people here who have become precious to him.]
no subject
But she's never slept beside someone, or while hugging them, and so when Tsukasa starts shifting and that distress both reaches her ears and those nightmarish thoughts follow suit, she opens her eyes.
Oh.
For a few minutes, Mafuyu just blinks and processes what's going on, both her thoughts and Tsukasa's a muddle while she's trying to figure out how they wound up like this in the first place.
But that distress takes precedence, and despite not really knowing what to do, she frees an arm, reaching out to brush his bangs away from his eyes. Something like additional, different contact. ]
no subject
So she brushes his bangs from his face and Tsukasa stirs slowly, brow furrowing--before he finally wakes up very suddenly with a sharp inhalation of air.
--?!]
no subject
[ Very quietly. It's pretty much a whisper. There's no need to be loud when he's right there and it's late (but let's be real, she wouldn't be loud anyway). ]
You were having a nightmare.
no subject
[He breathes out shakily, slowly processing that, before he slumps back to the bed with a groan.]
Right, of course... that's all it was...
[...
...
... Hang on a minute.]
M-Mafuyu?! I--I apologize, I must have fallen asleep on you--!
no subject
[ She finds she doesn't really care about the timeline of events. ]
I didn't mind. I think it helped, a little.
no subject
He shouldn't just relax like this, he thinks, but--
"I think it helped, a little."
All he really wants, right now, is to help. To be helpful, of use...
... He's still tired, and as the hints of that nightmare fade... he finds he doesn't want to leave.]
... Okay. Then--go back to sleep.
no subject
[ She blinks, studying him. And then-- ]
At least let me turn off the light. Do you want a blanket? [ He's the one who had a nightmare. Maybe he needs to be more comfortable. ]
no subject
Instead, he covers his eyes with an arm as he slumps back against the bed.]
I'm fine, really.
[He can't overthink this or he will force himself to get out of poor Mafuyu's bed and stagger his way back to his room, whether he's helping her by being here or not.]
no subject
He's the one doing her a favor, and she's reluctant to ask, but... ]
... Can I hold your hand?
no subject
His expression softens at that, and immediately, he lowers his arm from over his eyes to instead reach out to take her hand in his, squeezing it gently.]
Of course! ... Of course.
[Mafuyu never asks for anything.
He's really glad--she could ask for this much, and he's really glad he could give her what she needs.]
no subject
Thank you. I'll... make it up to you.
[ She'll find a way to help. She wants to.
His hand... is so warm. ]
no subject
You already have--
I'm...
His thoughts are a little chaotic (only a little, he's still mostly sleepy) for a moment as he tries to think of a response.
And then he lets it go, instead letting his eyes slide shut again.]
Go back to sleep, Mafuyu.
[That's enough.]
no subject
And she doesn't. She's also tired. So she curls her fingers around his, attentive to his breathing just to ensure he doesn't immediately tumble back into another nightmare...
And, eventually, she slips back into sleep. ]