IC Inbox (Purgastory)

[depressured]

Comments

[ordimame]

[perking up when he sees her, meandering over as he quickly hides the shiny thing behind his back]

Hey, Mafuyu!

[glancing at the boxes]

. . . thinking about opening one up?

[depressured]

No, I did earlier. I was just observing them.

[ Obviously nothing is happening with them. ]

What were you doing, Edamura-san?

[ordimame]

[is this a nature documentary for boxes. . .]

Well, I was looking for you. I wanted to give you something.

[hmmm]

But I have to ask you a question first.

[depressured]

[ She tilts her head, a little perplexed. ]

Yes?

[ordimame]

Can you tell me about a time to put forth effort for something? Or, uh. Someone? Either will do. And it doesn't matter how small!

[depressured]

[ ... ]

I studied and attended cram school to fulfill my mother's dream of me becoming a doctor.

1/2

[ordimame]

[. . .]

[ordimame]

[FUCK]

That's not-- . . . I-I was hoping you'd choose something more. . .

[just. more?]

[depressured]

....? More?

[ WHAT DID YOU EXPECT ]

[ordimame]

[NOT THAT??]

I guess I thought you'd talk about your music. Or. . . I dunno. Something happier?

[depressured]

I didn't put that much effort into music. Or not as much as I put into what I told you.

Did it need to be happy?

[ Silly Edamura. ]

[ordimame]

No, but. . .

[. . .]

It feels kinda weird to give you this now.

[holds out a little glowing star. a gold star for her efforts. get it. haha]

[depressured]

[ ... Ah. ]

You don't have to. But thank you for thinking of me.

[ordimame]

I wasn't doing it because I had to. I just wanted to give you a little pick-me-up.

[a little voice urged him to gift his fallen star to someone, yes. but he could have ignored it. he simply chose not to!]

. . . well, anyway! Uh. . . [a beat. he looks down at the star in his hands] I guess this is trash now. . .?

[noooo don't throw away the shooting star]

[depressured]

... Can I have it, then?

[ordimame]

[ah? lifts his gaze to blink at her]

You still want it? I mean, it was always meant for you.

[glancing down once again, before holding out the star for her to take]

So if you'd still like it, then. . .! That'd make me pretty happy.

[depressured]

[ She takes it, carefully. ]

I may have failed to meet your expectations, but I can try harder in a way you'll approve of.

[ordimame]

[MAFUYU NO]

I-I didn't have expectations! I don't want you to try harder in a way I approve of!

[flailing a li'l]

I want you to try harder for yourself! In a way that makes you happy!

[depressured]

[ She can't deny she tried very hard for her mother's sake! She's not ashamed of it, she's just tired! ]

A way that makes me happy...

... I don't know what that is yet.

[ordimame]

[DEEP EXHALE. . .]

. . . that's okay, you know. You don't have to have all of the answers right now.

[depressured]

I don't have any of the answers right now.

[ Which is frustrating. ]

[ordimame]

[boy, does he relate. after a pause:]

Do you even know where to start looking?

[he does not mean this harshly. it is a genuine question]

[depressured]

Something... like a feeling. I think.

[ How heartening. ]

[ordimame]

[perking up!]

That's a great place to start, Mafuyu. What does that feeling look like?

[depressured]

That I shouldn't let go of my friends.